Back.
From the streets of London, from the chaos of Kolkata during the Pujos. Had a great time. Rushed about from one gathering to another ignoring jetlag and exhaustion, fueled by adrenaline and mouthwatering lunches and dinners. The chance to catch up with good friends after what seemed like ages, the thrill of an entire city partying till the late hours, so much to do and so little time. How could I afford to miss out on all the craziness when I knew this would only last for 4 days? The recovery started from Dashami and carried on through the week. Lakshmi Puja led to an extended weekend and a chance for more relaxation. I love this season. Durga Puja flags off a fresh period full of festivals and holidays. It coincides with that time of the year when the evenings get longer, smokier somehow, smelling of fragrant flowers, a slow intoxication that culminates in a rapturous farewell to the year.
As for my trip to London, was more busy this time than I had expected. Glad that I managed to do some sightseeing. Went to Oxford - that land of dreaming spires, where every true-blue English Honours student of Calcutta University hopes to one day visit if not study at. Beautiful town with every turn packed with history so that every street you step into waits to tell its story. Had lunch at a pub that C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien used to frequent, read texts from the 16th and 17th century which outlined the efforts that the learned men of the day were making to decipher science and geography and language at the Bodleian library, went to Alice's Shop that featured as the Old Sheep Shop in the famous novel, visited Christchurch College where parts of the Harry Potter movies were filmed...so much really to take in on a cold, grey English day.
Getting slowly back to normal (read: boring) schedules. Can't believe tomorrow is Monday again. Where did the last three days vanish... Ate a lot, slept some, hoped in vain for some good movies to watch and finished reading a few novels. P.D. James' "Cover her Face" was interesting. In the vein of typical Agatha Christie style English countryside murder mysteries. Not as good as an Agatha Christie but not so bad either.
Also finished reading "The Immortals of Meluha" by Amish. It's part of the Shiva Trilogy which the author will be penning. Based on the very intriguing premise that Shiva was an ordinary man who was elevated to the status of a god by his actions. Building in a lot of religious references that are given a practical explanation. Felt extremely let down however, by the language used which is very contemporary and casual. Shiva for instance keeps saying things like "bloody hell"! One would think we were not talking about the ancient Hindu god but about the reincarnation of some Englishman?! The book has novel theories and ideas, but in a literary work, how can language be ignored. And this I read after the P.D. James where a few choice words were enough to convey every nuance with economy and subtlety, often leaving the reader to work out the meaning of a sentence.
Anyways, I've spent enough time on the computer...time to log out of cyberspace...au revoir...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Up, up and away
Immense lethargy. Also nagging headache since last couple of days. Piles of pending work that I don't even want to think about much less look at. Irritable. Shopping incomplete and for once urgently needed. Heaps of clothes scattered everywhere. Sure to forget something. Can't bear nitty-gritties right now. Everybody fussing over me. Not always pleasant. Want to speed things up and get on that plane. Want to curl up in bed and go to sleep. I miss home and I haven't even left it yet. Schizophrenic.
Off to London.
Monday, September 20, 2010
A decision made and some other life lessons
Decisions are always so much easier to make when they don’t affect you directly. I had to make a difficult choice recently and after a lot of careful thought I went with what my heart said – something I think I knew from the beginning. Different people gave different advice – some vehemently, some gently. But if there’s one thing I have learnt in life, it is this – always listen to others but eventually do what you feel is right.
Nobody and I mean nobody, not your closest friend or your family, can take your place in life. What this means is that they can never completely feel your happiness, your pain, your confusion, your angst as much as you do. They cannot live for you. They will always be one step removed from the real thing – you. The sooner one realizes this, the easier it becomes to stop relying on others. However much you take opinions about how to run the race, eventually you will be the one running it. That is not to say that the advice doesn’t help or guidance or sympathy or some kind of empathy doesn’t help. Of course it helps. It goes some way in fine-tuning the ideas that are already present in your head. It gives you solace. It shows you a different way of looking at things sometimes.
But the thing to remember is – your life is yours only. You will have to fight your own battles. You should be solely responsible for whatever decisions you make. And there is comfort to be drawn from that. And courage in owning up to it.
Another thing I realized is how you have to figure out what works for you. In other words, one man’s meat may be another man’s poison. What sounds like a great opportunity to one person need not seem that way to another. It is all a question of priorities. And it is important to be sure of one’s priorities in life. There are so many things we compromise upon in life. Too often, it is too easy to get drawn into something that goes against what you once believed in. It is essential to be aware of the non-negotiables. To realize that no matter what, this is something you are not going to give up on. It is important to take a stance and stick to it because otherwise you will fall for anything and everything the world throws at you.
It is important to realize that you don’t need to, and more importantly, can’t, please everybody all the time. It is impossible. This is one of those realizations that are guaranteed to bring about a lot of satisfaction in the long run. It is hard to avoid the temptation to be a crowd-pleaser. And it is also not necessary that you have to rebel against everything. Just learn to live with the fact that everyone may not like you. And that’s cool because you don’t like everyone either.
So… a lot of the heavy stuff today but that’s another side to me.
Nobody and I mean nobody, not your closest friend or your family, can take your place in life. What this means is that they can never completely feel your happiness, your pain, your confusion, your angst as much as you do. They cannot live for you. They will always be one step removed from the real thing – you. The sooner one realizes this, the easier it becomes to stop relying on others. However much you take opinions about how to run the race, eventually you will be the one running it. That is not to say that the advice doesn’t help or guidance or sympathy or some kind of empathy doesn’t help. Of course it helps. It goes some way in fine-tuning the ideas that are already present in your head. It gives you solace. It shows you a different way of looking at things sometimes.
But the thing to remember is – your life is yours only. You will have to fight your own battles. You should be solely responsible for whatever decisions you make. And there is comfort to be drawn from that. And courage in owning up to it.
Another thing I realized is how you have to figure out what works for you. In other words, one man’s meat may be another man’s poison. What sounds like a great opportunity to one person need not seem that way to another. It is all a question of priorities. And it is important to be sure of one’s priorities in life. There are so many things we compromise upon in life. Too often, it is too easy to get drawn into something that goes against what you once believed in. It is essential to be aware of the non-negotiables. To realize that no matter what, this is something you are not going to give up on. It is important to take a stance and stick to it because otherwise you will fall for anything and everything the world throws at you.
It is important to realize that you don’t need to, and more importantly, can’t, please everybody all the time. It is impossible. This is one of those realizations that are guaranteed to bring about a lot of satisfaction in the long run. It is hard to avoid the temptation to be a crowd-pleaser. And it is also not necessary that you have to rebel against everything. Just learn to live with the fact that everyone may not like you. And that’s cool because you don’t like everyone either.
So… a lot of the heavy stuff today but that’s another side to me.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
She - II
She breathed a sigh of relief. The meeting had gone off well. She began to feel herself relax, letting some of the stress out. She wanted to just sit still but began collecting up her papers instead. She could celebrate after she was out of the client's office. As she said her goodbyes, the marketing director walked up to her, lauded the presentation once again and pretty much made her day. She left the boardroom with a smile she couldn't quite conceal.
As they waited for the elevator, she listened with half a ear to the excited babble of the junior managers. The deal had been an important one and she had clinched it. Her boss hadn't been around to see it of course. Such was life. But even he couldn't ignore her contribution this time.
As the elevator doors opened, she saw there was already a man standing inside. As the elevator continued its downward journey, her kohl-lined eyes lazily lingered on him. Clean cut good looks, short hair, blue shirt, sharp tie, sleeves rolled up showing a chunky wristwatch on a strong forearm, nice shoes. Everything classic and understated. 'My kind of man' - the sudden thought flashed through her head taking her by surprise and making her look away hurriedly. The blinking lights told her they were still some distance away from the ground floor.
She looked again when she felt his eyes on her. She saw the nicest eyes she had ever seen - a colour that should be named 'Twinkling Brown' she thought. She felt her heart lurch, but maybe that was just the motion of the elevator. Before she could gather her wits and look away, a lazy smile slowly lit up his face and teased out an answering smile from her as well. The moment seemed to stretch and expand in her mind till everything seemed sharper and hazier at the same time. The elevator bumped to a stop and brought her back to her surroundings.
She stepped out and walked briskly away without a backward glance. She was feeling a little shocked at her behaviour. Had she just smiled at a guy, a stranger, in the elevator? A guy who had been checking her out, no less. Well, in all fairness, a guy she had been checking out too.
She smiled to herself. It was a sunny day.
* This story can be read on its own or in conjunction with two other pieces I've written - "She" and "He".
As they waited for the elevator, she listened with half a ear to the excited babble of the junior managers. The deal had been an important one and she had clinched it. Her boss hadn't been around to see it of course. Such was life. But even he couldn't ignore her contribution this time.
As the elevator doors opened, she saw there was already a man standing inside. As the elevator continued its downward journey, her kohl-lined eyes lazily lingered on him. Clean cut good looks, short hair, blue shirt, sharp tie, sleeves rolled up showing a chunky wristwatch on a strong forearm, nice shoes. Everything classic and understated. 'My kind of man' - the sudden thought flashed through her head taking her by surprise and making her look away hurriedly. The blinking lights told her they were still some distance away from the ground floor.
She looked again when she felt his eyes on her. She saw the nicest eyes she had ever seen - a colour that should be named 'Twinkling Brown' she thought. She felt her heart lurch, but maybe that was just the motion of the elevator. Before she could gather her wits and look away, a lazy smile slowly lit up his face and teased out an answering smile from her as well. The moment seemed to stretch and expand in her mind till everything seemed sharper and hazier at the same time. The elevator bumped to a stop and brought her back to her surroundings.
She stepped out and walked briskly away without a backward glance. She was feeling a little shocked at her behaviour. Had she just smiled at a guy, a stranger, in the elevator? A guy who had been checking her out, no less. Well, in all fairness, a guy she had been checking out too.
She smiled to herself. It was a sunny day.
* This story can be read on its own or in conjunction with two other pieces I've written - "She" and "He".
Nothing in particular
Okay, this is going to be a rambling post about nothing in particular.
I am currently reading "Rage" by Jonathan Kellerman. Interesting in parts. Just happy to find some time to read again. Also reading short stories by Stephen King written under his pseudonym, Richard Bachman. And about to begin on the third book of the Millenium trilogy by Steig Larsson. In the middle of Sherlock Holmes' "A Study in Scarlet" too.
When I was younger, I had this rule of reading one book at a time so as not to dilute its essence. Now I find that I rarely get much time to read and when I do, I'd rather go with the type of story that fits my mood at that point in time. I mean, if I'm reading at 11.30 in the night after a gruelling day at work, I cannot bear to read anything too heavy. I'll probably miss the nuances or the beautiful use of language and fall asleep after the first paragraph. What I read then is a fast paced bit of fiction - just a story nothing more, nothing less. Over a lazy Sunday afternoon (or a day like today, when a bandh disrupts any chance of going out), I read books that require more attention. Just having all these books to read makes me happy. Never mind that I read them in bits and pieces and infrequently.
The last movie I watched in the theatre was "Lafangey Parindey" Read my review here. I have been wanting to watch "Byomkesh Bakshi" - a Bengali movie based on the detective novels of Saradindu Bandhyopadhyay. While I enjoyed the Doordarshan serial starring Rajit Kapoor, my main motivation for wanting to watch this is because it stars a friend.
I also want to watch "Dabangg" - promises to be a seeti-bajao type laughathon. A movie to be watched with a group of close friends ready to laugh at the stupidest gags and corniest lines of Inspector Chulbul Pandey (yes, that's Salman Khan for you). And with a song like 'Main Zandu balm hui, darrling tere liye!' can anybody even doubt its eccentric humour! also directed by Anurag Kashyap's brother, so there's a recommendation right there.
A close friend is in town and we will be catching up soon for lunch. I have been missing a Peter Cat sizzler for some time now. *Dreamy grin* Gorged on pizza again over the weekend. Sometimes I think my life can be divided into Before-Domino's and After-Domino's phases. More festivities lined up in the coming days means more good food. Donno when I am going to diet! Eid is this weekend - brings to mind all the delicacies that our Muslim neighbours would share during Ramazan when we lived in Park Circus. Fresh fruits, spicy Chana, keema puffs, potato and onion pakoras, sewai...yumm!
On a different note, read in the papers today that some politician justified today's bandh saying that "people face problems for 364 days in a year, so what's 1 more day? That too when its for a good cause!" There are so many things wrong with that statement that I'll get too agitated before I can articulate anything properly. By the way, the "cause" is price rise, Centre's policy of divestment, petrol price hike and more...
I am currently reading "Rage" by Jonathan Kellerman. Interesting in parts. Just happy to find some time to read again. Also reading short stories by Stephen King written under his pseudonym, Richard Bachman. And about to begin on the third book of the Millenium trilogy by Steig Larsson. In the middle of Sherlock Holmes' "A Study in Scarlet" too.
When I was younger, I had this rule of reading one book at a time so as not to dilute its essence. Now I find that I rarely get much time to read and when I do, I'd rather go with the type of story that fits my mood at that point in time. I mean, if I'm reading at 11.30 in the night after a gruelling day at work, I cannot bear to read anything too heavy. I'll probably miss the nuances or the beautiful use of language and fall asleep after the first paragraph. What I read then is a fast paced bit of fiction - just a story nothing more, nothing less. Over a lazy Sunday afternoon (or a day like today, when a bandh disrupts any chance of going out), I read books that require more attention. Just having all these books to read makes me happy. Never mind that I read them in bits and pieces and infrequently.
The last movie I watched in the theatre was "Lafangey Parindey" Read my review here. I have been wanting to watch "Byomkesh Bakshi" - a Bengali movie based on the detective novels of Saradindu Bandhyopadhyay. While I enjoyed the Doordarshan serial starring Rajit Kapoor, my main motivation for wanting to watch this is because it stars a friend.
I also want to watch "Dabangg" - promises to be a seeti-bajao type laughathon. A movie to be watched with a group of close friends ready to laugh at the stupidest gags and corniest lines of Inspector Chulbul Pandey (yes, that's Salman Khan for you). And with a song like 'Main Zandu balm hui, darrling tere liye!' can anybody even doubt its eccentric humour! also directed by Anurag Kashyap's brother, so there's a recommendation right there.
A close friend is in town and we will be catching up soon for lunch. I have been missing a Peter Cat sizzler for some time now. *Dreamy grin* Gorged on pizza again over the weekend. Sometimes I think my life can be divided into Before-Domino's and After-Domino's phases. More festivities lined up in the coming days means more good food. Donno when I am going to diet! Eid is this weekend - brings to mind all the delicacies that our Muslim neighbours would share during Ramazan when we lived in Park Circus. Fresh fruits, spicy Chana, keema puffs, potato and onion pakoras, sewai...yumm!
On a different note, read in the papers today that some politician justified today's bandh saying that "people face problems for 364 days in a year, so what's 1 more day? That too when its for a good cause!" There are so many things wrong with that statement that I'll get too agitated before I can articulate anything properly. By the way, the "cause" is price rise, Centre's policy of divestment, petrol price hike and more...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Hot headed
Two weeks of fevered activity – the first because I actually had fever and the next because my weeklong absence from office had led to a work pileup.
Week 1
I’m one of those people who suffer through frequent, random and inexplicable bouts of common cold, accepting that this is their lot in life. So I was not unduly alarmed when another bout of sneezing, watering eyes (and nose), assailed me over the weekend. By Monday night however, it became clear that not just the weekend but my entire week look set to be ruined. I came down with fever that would subside on having paracetamols only to resurface after a few hours.
I realized that fevers are a great way to spend time. In the sense that you don’t realize where time flies as you lie in a haze of discomfort, unable to gaze upon the world because your eyelids have grown so heavy and your limbs as unfamiliar as strangers. You dream, or think you dream, of inconsequential matters and wonder if this is how it all ends.
The doctor I went to, was an Old School guy since unlike the new breed, he refused to let me have antibiotics at the earliest possible opportunity. He also prescribed tests but again advised me to wait for a day or so. Eventually these tactics led to nothing more than another fevered day, so after much second-guessing of the doctor’s advice, I got tests done and started on the antibiotics. The tests indicated nothing serious but my fever thought otherwise.
In between, we were visited by some relatives – namely a noisy uncle, his brood and a censorious family Elder. My poor mother nearly fell ill with worry after having to manage them and me together. Anyways, all’s well that ends well. Their visit went off beautifully and even I managed a respite from what was declared to be a viral fever (which apparently is plaguing everyone in my city).
After a couple of false starts, I finally began to walk on the road to recovery. The fever weakened and then finally disappeared. I felt pretty weak and zombie-like myself but wild horses couldn’t keep me away from work. I’m just kidding.
Week 2
Getting back to work took some getting used to. A heap of urgent mails, policy meetings, decision-making nightmares and several new projects welcomed me back. I figured hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? So I rolled up my figurative sleeves and plunged in.
I dealt with the mad rush of phone calls, e-mails, meetings as I dealt with my trembling fingers and constant exhaustion. Somehow, its Friday now and I still live to tell the tale. Yes, I’m working tomorrow also but a weekend is a weekend is a weekend. I’ll still have some time to call my own.
The medicines had killed off my appetite initially and some twisted part of me actually thought that I could benefit from this by not eating out for some weeks to come – thus saving money and watching weight. I am happy to report that things are back on track and I had lunch with a friend at Pizza Hut yesterday. The pasta and pizza have left me yearning for more so am all set to order my beloved Domino’s pizza this weekend.
Also thinking of watching ‘Aisha’. Seems promising. Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Emma”. Alicia Silverstone starrer “Clueless” was also on the same lines and that was good fun. I saw ‘Inception’ and joined the band of those who liked it – gripping, convoluted and the special effects were cool.
Finished reading Ruth Rendell’s novel, ‘Live Flesh’. It was disappointing and depressing. Have borrowed “The Bachman Books” now – a collection of novels that Stephen King wrote under the pseudonym, Richard Bachman. I really like Stephen King’s prose – lucid, graphic and extremely easy to relate to. Not easy to write like that – putting your finger on those half-baked or half-remembered feelings, those sensations that stick like a lump in your throat, those thoughts that one cannot voice. It’s not just about horror.
So, well, now that I’ve shared the latest thrilling episode of Sparkling Supernova and the Mysterious Fever, its time I put my pen down (or should it be its time I stopped clicking on the mouse?). Over and out.
Week 1
I’m one of those people who suffer through frequent, random and inexplicable bouts of common cold, accepting that this is their lot in life. So I was not unduly alarmed when another bout of sneezing, watering eyes (and nose), assailed me over the weekend. By Monday night however, it became clear that not just the weekend but my entire week look set to be ruined. I came down with fever that would subside on having paracetamols only to resurface after a few hours.
I realized that fevers are a great way to spend time. In the sense that you don’t realize where time flies as you lie in a haze of discomfort, unable to gaze upon the world because your eyelids have grown so heavy and your limbs as unfamiliar as strangers. You dream, or think you dream, of inconsequential matters and wonder if this is how it all ends.
The doctor I went to, was an Old School guy since unlike the new breed, he refused to let me have antibiotics at the earliest possible opportunity. He also prescribed tests but again advised me to wait for a day or so. Eventually these tactics led to nothing more than another fevered day, so after much second-guessing of the doctor’s advice, I got tests done and started on the antibiotics. The tests indicated nothing serious but my fever thought otherwise.
In between, we were visited by some relatives – namely a noisy uncle, his brood and a censorious family Elder. My poor mother nearly fell ill with worry after having to manage them and me together. Anyways, all’s well that ends well. Their visit went off beautifully and even I managed a respite from what was declared to be a viral fever (which apparently is plaguing everyone in my city).
After a couple of false starts, I finally began to walk on the road to recovery. The fever weakened and then finally disappeared. I felt pretty weak and zombie-like myself but wild horses couldn’t keep me away from work. I’m just kidding.
Week 2
Getting back to work took some getting used to. A heap of urgent mails, policy meetings, decision-making nightmares and several new projects welcomed me back. I figured hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? So I rolled up my figurative sleeves and plunged in.
I dealt with the mad rush of phone calls, e-mails, meetings as I dealt with my trembling fingers and constant exhaustion. Somehow, its Friday now and I still live to tell the tale. Yes, I’m working tomorrow also but a weekend is a weekend is a weekend. I’ll still have some time to call my own.
The medicines had killed off my appetite initially and some twisted part of me actually thought that I could benefit from this by not eating out for some weeks to come – thus saving money and watching weight. I am happy to report that things are back on track and I had lunch with a friend at Pizza Hut yesterday. The pasta and pizza have left me yearning for more so am all set to order my beloved Domino’s pizza this weekend.
Also thinking of watching ‘Aisha’. Seems promising. Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Emma”. Alicia Silverstone starrer “Clueless” was also on the same lines and that was good fun. I saw ‘Inception’ and joined the band of those who liked it – gripping, convoluted and the special effects were cool.
Finished reading Ruth Rendell’s novel, ‘Live Flesh’. It was disappointing and depressing. Have borrowed “The Bachman Books” now – a collection of novels that Stephen King wrote under the pseudonym, Richard Bachman. I really like Stephen King’s prose – lucid, graphic and extremely easy to relate to. Not easy to write like that – putting your finger on those half-baked or half-remembered feelings, those sensations that stick like a lump in your throat, those thoughts that one cannot voice. It’s not just about horror.
So, well, now that I’ve shared the latest thrilling episode of Sparkling Supernova and the Mysterious Fever, its time I put my pen down (or should it be its time I stopped clicking on the mouse?). Over and out.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Recent highlights from my life
Haven't written for quite some time. Feel like am hitting some sort of a writers' block. Before it gets too pronounced, thought I should write something. So presenting the highlights of the week gone by:
Attended a seminar on brand management which was held at a prominent city hotel. While the meet seemed promising in the beginning, it soon petered out amid copious amounts of consultancy style jargon and content heavy slides full of flowcharts. It didn't add much value but at least it was a good change after so many days of being locked up in office.
Friends who are based in different cities come visiting this month. Have had some good times catching up with one of them and we have eaten out almost every day that she was here. No wonder I feel like I have gained a few kgs! Also met up with someone who is soon to be a part of our friend circle - she is all set to marry one of my close friends. Can't wait for their wedding - it's going to be so much fun!
Finally redeemed the vouchers I had from Oxford bookstore. Bought three novels after shelling out some more cash from own pocket. The new Jeffrey Archer, a Ruth Rendell and an omnibus of Sherlock Holmes tales. Ha-ppy!
Saw "Up in the Air" - good watch though slightly depressing eventually. Clooney is the best thing about the movie - great screen presence.
Also saw "Saptapadi" today. It's a classic Bengali movie starring Uttam Kumar and Suchitra Sen. Well made, interesting and with that gem of a song, 'Ei path jodi na shesh hoy (If this road didn't end)...'
I am also experiencing wanderlust once again. It's clearly time to pack my bags and leave on a jet plane. Hope it happens some time soon.
Attended a seminar on brand management which was held at a prominent city hotel. While the meet seemed promising in the beginning, it soon petered out amid copious amounts of consultancy style jargon and content heavy slides full of flowcharts. It didn't add much value but at least it was a good change after so many days of being locked up in office.
Friends who are based in different cities come visiting this month. Have had some good times catching up with one of them and we have eaten out almost every day that she was here. No wonder I feel like I have gained a few kgs! Also met up with someone who is soon to be a part of our friend circle - she is all set to marry one of my close friends. Can't wait for their wedding - it's going to be so much fun!
Finally redeemed the vouchers I had from Oxford bookstore. Bought three novels after shelling out some more cash from own pocket. The new Jeffrey Archer, a Ruth Rendell and an omnibus of Sherlock Holmes tales. Ha-ppy!
Saw "Up in the Air" - good watch though slightly depressing eventually. Clooney is the best thing about the movie - great screen presence.
Also saw "Saptapadi" today. It's a classic Bengali movie starring Uttam Kumar and Suchitra Sen. Well made, interesting and with that gem of a song, 'Ei path jodi na shesh hoy (If this road didn't end)...'
I am also experiencing wanderlust once again. It's clearly time to pack my bags and leave on a jet plane. Hope it happens some time soon.
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